Never Tell Anyone You’ve Swallowed Turpentine

Take a break from everyday frustrations and age-old discussions and commit yourself to something propitious, something which you’ll be proud of – that’s just what happened to us, the organizers of Instruo ’09, (controversially) the first ever tech fest in BESU history.

April 9th, two days before the fest. The sets of both prelims and finals were ready overnight and kept secure in my wardrobe. We had to attend the classes even during this festive season. After the classes ended at 5 o’clock, I went to Sen Hall’s TT room where the Robotyca arenas were kept and Abhra and his half-brother, Sumit, were busy painting the track of the Line Follower. After a few moments Abhra went upstairs to put on his pyjama to go outside and have some Bangali kachuris. This is the inauspicious moment when all came to be. A mischievous 500-ml bottle of Kinley’s was standing upright on the TT table. Succumbing to an irresistible necessity to replenish thirst (of water, obviously) I opened the cap and inclined the bottle to at least 70 degrees with the horizontal. Falling prey to Newton’s law of gravity, the liquid inside couldn’t help falling inside the opening of my oesophagus. I felt something unusually wrong and after a fraction of a moment I wasn’t quite sure whether to feel panic or laughter which I’ve just given birth to. The bottle didn’t contain water, it was filled up with oil of turpentine – a fluid, foreign to our body, used to remove paints and kill termites.

Out of survival instinct or whatever, almost spontaneously most (maybe an exaggeration of my reaction speed) of the oil inhabiting my mouth was automatically spilt; but some could still manage to make its way to my stomach. I tried to shout but couldn’t succeed; my vocal cord just refused to make any vibration. At this juncture I seriously feared of losing my voice. However, Sumit immediately saw me struggling and rushed to call Abhra. He ran down to me and took me to the nearest medical store. I was advised to take an emergency admission in a hospital. Now, the BE College Hospital is a place where you would like to keep someone who is suffering from an incurable disease and waiting to die; so it was not an option. The next halt was the Howrah South General Hospital. Sandeep and Rahul had just finished their evening tiffin and joined us to there. We didn’t wait too long as they told they didn’t have the “machine” to extract oil from my stomach.

Subsequently, we took a taxi and reached the Howrah Zilla Hospital, where I was completely taken aback by the reactions I got from the wards and nurses. “People take whiskey, beer, drugs, or even kerosene; but “turpentine” is a state-of-the-art experience.” According to them, I had an argument with my girlfriend or was ditched by the love of my life. What the hell was going in their minds? Now, this is precisely untrue. Even accepting the fact that I haven’t been able to make a good lover or relationshiper, I don’t think I’ll be able to risk my own existence for a person in my life, no matter how much special she is. Anyhow, it was my first official attempt to commit suicide! First, they hesitated to admit me showing required police formalities but were later convinced. Nonetheless, this “suicide rumour/ humour” wasn’t over. The nurses, even during injecting the saline tube, didn’t stop making the fun out of me and it continued long after I lied down on the bed. I didn’t expect a similar kind of response from my relatives, but as it turned out, it was quite norm.

I was a lucky fellow. Back home, thakuma was struggling with her cerebral attack (now she’s no more with us), and I was accompanied by a thalassaemia patient and one having a severe liver infection. Compared to them I was a mere frivolity. The doctor too said I’d be okay to go home the day after. But things got worse. The doc didn’t come for the next two days and I was being (over)treated with four injections and two painkillers per day. The overdose gave rise to acute chest and back pain which developed to kind of unbearable by Friday night. I couldn’t sit, stand, or even lie on my back and couldn’t but cry all the night, literally. Eventually the pain weakened over the next couple of days and I was finally released when my doc returned, on Sunday morning. The remaining chest ache was said to disappear within a few days.

I missed the physical presence at Instruo but heard that my event, MathMania, was the biggest success. Sandeep did a brilliant job to coordinate over 130 participants and accomplished the event. In a way I was very satisfied and felt an immediate urge to join full-fledged in Instruo ’10. Back in college I became a sort of celebrity; even professors didn’t stop passing comments about me. At the end of the day, I can only tell you, if you accidentally drink some turpentine keep it within as small number of people as possible; you’ll not like being a thespian of joke while you’re actually suffering from serious malady.